Well, with the help of eBay and her aunt Gigi, Cora Grace has turned into a shoe diva. She has boots in black, hot pink, fur. Mary Jane's in white, black, tan and brown ones with pink flowers. She has sparkle shoes in purple and - you guessed it - pink again! She even has blue plaid high heels. However, she has never owned a pair or RED shoes. That is... not until this fall.
Aunt Gigi knew the red shoes were for me to buy - when I was ready. Oh yes, red shoes would have been beautiful with her plaid Christmas dress and matching red wool coat last year. In fact, I stood in the shoe isle of Target last year with tears in my eyes, holding a pair of little red shoes, turning them over and over in my hands. Praying over them as if they were a new born child. I must have looked crazy! I just could not bring myself to buy them, not yet. I had not grieved enough for someone very special. You see, those red shoes were a symbolic link to Cora's birth mom. It was for her - her grief, her comfort, her peace - I was praying for.
All this over a little pair of $7.99 red sparkle shoes!?!?!?! You see, while I was waiting for Cora, I read everything I could adoption related. It helped me feel a little more in control of a situation I had no control over. In my reading, I came across a book of letters written by Korean birth mothers published in 1999. Here is an excerpt from one of the letters - a letter that has forever changed my life...
"My loving daughter, when I first felt you within me I dreamt of many things. One dream was about red shoes. When my mother, your grandmother, was raising me she hoped to buy me red shoes. I guess at the time, because of her poverty, it was too difficult for her...
When I knew that you would be born, I dreamt that after your birth I would buy a pair of red shoes for your feet and a pretty ribbon with lace to put in your hair. However, I now cannot hug you or buy you red shoes or even a ribbon.... I realize that you will have good adoptive parents. I believe they will be able to buy you red shoes and ribbon, because you are like an angel giving by God."
Excerpt from: I Wish for You A Beautiful Life - Letters form a Korean Birth Mothers of Ae Ran to Their Children. Edited by Sara Dorow
This year Cora has red shoes. Red Sparkle Shoes! One day, I hope to tell Cora's birth mother she had red shoes and she DANCED in them.
Aunt Gigi knew the red shoes were for me to buy - when I was ready. Oh yes, red shoes would have been beautiful with her plaid Christmas dress and matching red wool coat last year. In fact, I stood in the shoe isle of Target last year with tears in my eyes, holding a pair of little red shoes, turning them over and over in my hands. Praying over them as if they were a new born child. I must have looked crazy! I just could not bring myself to buy them, not yet. I had not grieved enough for someone very special. You see, those red shoes were a symbolic link to Cora's birth mom. It was for her - her grief, her comfort, her peace - I was praying for.
All this over a little pair of $7.99 red sparkle shoes!?!?!?! You see, while I was waiting for Cora, I read everything I could adoption related. It helped me feel a little more in control of a situation I had no control over. In my reading, I came across a book of letters written by Korean birth mothers published in 1999. Here is an excerpt from one of the letters - a letter that has forever changed my life...
"My loving daughter, when I first felt you within me I dreamt of many things. One dream was about red shoes. When my mother, your grandmother, was raising me she hoped to buy me red shoes. I guess at the time, because of her poverty, it was too difficult for her...
When I knew that you would be born, I dreamt that after your birth I would buy a pair of red shoes for your feet and a pretty ribbon with lace to put in your hair. However, I now cannot hug you or buy you red shoes or even a ribbon.... I realize that you will have good adoptive parents. I believe they will be able to buy you red shoes and ribbon, because you are like an angel giving by God."
Excerpt from: I Wish for You A Beautiful Life - Letters form a Korean Birth Mothers of Ae Ran to Their Children. Edited by Sara Dorow
This year Cora has red shoes. Red Sparkle Shoes! One day, I hope to tell Cora's birth mother she had red shoes and she DANCED in them.
